Brandon Walker Burlington, Vermont —
Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders met Monday with Russian President Vladimir Putin to discuss a proposal that would enroll 42 transitioning Russian women that use performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) into the NWHL after the 2020 season. The initial proposal is a quid pro quo as it will help Russia remove highly problematic transvestites, while enlisting Russian Bot Trolls to sway useful idiots to vote for Bernie in the 2020 election. The proposal would primarily impact the team with the lowest viewership and attendance, Connecticut. Sanders, a senator from a state known for maple syrup and mediocre hockey sent Commissioner Ryan a letter on Nov. 25 calling the plan “an absolute blessing for hockey fans, comrades, and social media influencers throughout the country that primarily use Twitter.” NWHL issued a statement Monday saying it “understands that we have an obligation to the cis gendered feminists to ensure that public money spent on talent is done so prudently and for the benefit of all citizens. NWHL also must ensure that game play is entertaining so that both cis gendered and transgendered fans who show up to the games are not subjected to boring slow gameplay, and will pay more than $3 for a ticket.” Sanders said he “and other members of Congress will be carefully monitoring the progress of negotiations on behalf of fans.”
