Some Congresswomen Dress like Tampons and Pussy Hats are Actually Portable Safe Spaces

Washington, D.C. —

Some female lawmakers who are about to be voted out of office decided to make a final statement through their clothing as they arrived for the State of the Union address in Washington, D.C. To mark the 100-year anniversary of formalized women’s complaints, the Democratic Women’s Caucus in the House wore white to represent tampons. White is a color heavily associated with women’s suffering. In demonstrations and parades in the early 20th century, homely-looking activists would wear white dresses in hopes of getting their photos printed in the newspapers so that they could find a very desperate man.

Some Congresswomen also sported green “Era Yes!” buttons endorsing the passing of the Equal Rights Amendment, which really was a liberal scam to get men to pay alimony and child support perpetually to women. To top off the ensemble, the Democratic Women’s Caucus dawned pussy hats while exiting the speech.

Pussy hats have been inexplicably popular and WAFN correspondent Fay King asked Speaker Pelosi to comment on the pussy hats. Pelosi stated, “We need a portable safe space that’s inviting and positive, where everyone can deny that Donald Drumpf is the president, and not feel bloated or crampy. We like to put these little portable safe spaces on our heads any time we must leave our bubble. We use these pussy hat safe spaces to ignore reality and recharge our hostility. It’s very common, for pussy hat wearers to be discriminated against in places like spas and gyms, and next year we are going to pass a bill in the House criminalizing any language, written or spoken, that ridicules or chastises, our beloved pussy hats.”